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COLLECTIVE
WIZDOM.COM
Real People (Sometimes Real
Names) Share Real Health
and Life Stories
WIZDOM.COM
Real People (Sometimes Real
Names) Share Real Health
and Life Stories
The Secret Equation Behind All Successful
Relationships.
By Sarah Ott and Robert Redman
Continued from page2 Back to Page 2
3. The Weight Relationship. Okay, you know all the right things to
think and say. Weight doesn't matter. Looks are superficial. A person
whose feelings would change for you based on looks is not worth your
time. Right.
Now, here's the truth. Weight matters. Fat matters. A good friend
confided in me once about his wife of then 4 years (they are now
divorced): "She's gotten fat. I know that makes me sound
Neanderthal. But she doesn't look like herself anymore".
I've heard countless variations on this from many friends. When your
partner gets fat and out-of-shape, it's likely your sexual interest
waned. Humans tend to look longer at things they find attractive.
Humans tend to listen longer to people they find attractive. Humans
tend to pay more attention to attractive people and find them more
engaging. None of that changes when you get "coupled" or married.
When your partner gets lumpy, you don't stop loving them. But you
may fall "out of love" with them. Why? Because being "in love"
involves magic, a set of ideals or close-to-ideals that your amour
brings to you. If beauty is one of these, then she or he has to stay
attractive to sustain the "in love" feeling.
When the pounds start to pile on, you don't even fall out of love
immediately. But we think that what starts to happen is that you start
to make withdrawals from the Love Bank.
How many withdrawals are made with each pound?
We think that for every 10% of your body weight you gain, your
partner has to withdraw twice as much --20%-- of the capital you
have in your Love Bank.
That's the equation. 2 for 1. Gain 10%, 20% of the capital in the
Love Bank is gone. Gain 20%, 40% of the Love Bank is gone.
So,let's say that when you began dating you weighed 130 pounds. But
you've been married for a awhile and put on about 40 pounds. You've
probably lost about 30% of the capital in your Love Bank.
What's the danger point. When does your Love Bank become
overdrawn?
From experience, we think that point is at 50%. That's when the
dissatisfaction gets so great to your partner that they will stop
thinking about you in the same way sexually. In fact, they may have
lost all interest in you sexually. They may find it harder to get
interested. You will find that the amount of sex drops to the point
where you begin wondering "what's wrong?"
In our hypothetical example where you began dating when you
weighed 130. The Love Bank gets overdrawn at 195. But the interest
probably started waning at 145-150. Get the point.
Sex starts between the ears long before it happens between the
sheets. With your ears and your eyes.
Now for the final equation. Next page.
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4
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