Ten Signs He's Going To Leave You
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September 1, 2008, last updated June 14, 2012
By Sarah Ott

I remember it well. A woman I worked with --and whom I
couldn't stand --was crying in the cubicle next to me. She
was on the phone, telling someone her story. "No", she
said sobbing, "I didn't know. The first sign I got was when
he pulled up in a UHAUL".

Even though she was a creton who had made my life
almost unbearable, I found myself feeling sorry for her.
And that started me wondering, why didn't she know? Why
didn't she see it coming? For that matter, why do most
women not see it coming?  Here they are living with a man,
day in and day out. You know he didn't just decide a
second before the UHAUL pulled up, so it must have been
brewing in his mind for awhile.  So, if he has known for
awhile, and you live with him every day, what were the
signs that you missed.

Here then, for all the other women who don't see it
coming, are the Ten Signs That He's Going to Leave You.

























1. Withdrawal.  The clearest sign, according to marriage
studies, that a man is going to leave you is his withdrawal
from interaction. Most people think that constant fighting is
a sign he'll leave. But it's not. If he's fighting, he's still in
the battle. If he's eerily quiet, even though you want him to
fight, he's not in the battle. Because the battle is over. And
so is the war.

When he stops fighting, and gets real quiet, he's making his
plans.


2. Long-term Plans Suddenly Change. Say you and he have
always talked about one day, after the kids are raised,
taking a trip to the Grand Canyon. Or Tahiti. Or wherever.
And, then, one day, you mention Tahiti, and he doesn't
smile or join in. That's a sign. His mind may be on Tahiti.
But when he forms a mind picture of Tahiti--you're not in it.

3. Reproductive Decisions Change. Let's say, you want
children. Or say, you never want to have children. And you
and he have agreed on this.  But then he for some reason
seems reluctant to talk about your joint decision of what
your family will look like. That's a major league bad sign. If
a man reverses himself on what you thought you and he
had agreed upon about children--watch out.  See, Jennifer
Aniston didn't see it coming. Brad Pitt wanted children. She
wanted to wait. Brad Pitt got his children. But not with
Jennifer.


4. Money.  Everybody fights about money. No problem. The
bad sign occurs if you find out that he has hidden
something significant about his pile of money. Or if he is no
longer contributing the same amount to your household.
Disappearing money is going somewhere. Somewhere bad
for you.

5. An Affair of a Certain Type. Men have affairs sometimes.
Women have affairs sometimes. People cheat. But no one
will necessarily leave the marriage unless it is a certain type
of affair. That type is an affair with a woman who also can
make him a home more comfortable than your home. Truth
is, most men love structure. They love the structure of a
home. I don't care how good she looks or how hot the sex
is, if she is living in a dump, she can't cook ---sorry, sexist
but true---he's not leaving you for her. He may keep her on
the side but he's not leaving.  Men like to slide into a nice,
comfortable structured food-and-roof situation.  The only
exception is if they are both extremely wealthy.   



6. Kids Are Growing Up. If he's been staying with you for
the sake of the kids ---and you know plenty of you have
these situations --then watch out when Little Johnny gets
ready to go to college. Because just as Little Johnny may
be starting his new life, Daddy may be starting his new life
too.

7. The Ultimate Vacation. A woman I know told me her
husband asked her for a divorce. Not after a fight. But after
they had come back from what she thought was their
dream vacation with the best sex they had ever had.  It
turns out, that many men who know they are going to
leave, plan one last big, hoorah. What was that song--Let's
Just Kiss and Say Goodbye. They often have Good-bye Sex
--the best sex ever--before they exit the door. Thank you,
mam.

8. His Friends Treat You Differently.  Ladies, most men,
contrary to popular belief, blab everything to their buddies.
It's 100% sure that his best buds will know your marriage
is over before you do. So, if they suddenly drop the social
courtesies, change the tone of voice, watch out.


9. Payroll Deductions. If you find on his pay stub any
change in deductions you have not discussed, that's a bad
sign. A man planning to leave you may change his
deductions, so he can increase his cash flow, in anticipation
of reduced family income or just to tie himself over in case
you out him out. He may also change the beneficiaries on
his insurance or his pension. Watch out.


10. His Mother. Some men start distancing you from their
mothers, in an effort to wean her off you before the Break.
He may break it off suddenly with you but chances are, he
will tell his mother something ahead of time, to soften the
blow.  Less baggage, my dear.

Related:
Liar, Liar-How to Tell When Someone Is Lying

Secret Key to All Successful Relationships

Stop Being an Emotional Eater

Why You Eat Too Much At Night


Ten Reasons You Should Be Glad He's Gone

Friends--How To Tell If You Have One
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