THE BEST MEDICINEf-
LAUGH!

FIRST DOSE
There are always two ways
to look at everything, I
guess. My wife and I were
sitting at a table at my
high school reunion last
October, and I kept staring
at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she
sat alone at a nearby
table. My wife noticed me
staring and asked me, "Do
you know her?".

"Yes",
I sighed, "She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after
we split up those  
many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober
since." "My God!" says my
wife, "Who would
think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"


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THE BEST MEDICINE-
LAUGH!

SECOND DOSE
Last night, my friend and I
were sitting in the living
room and
I said to her, "I never want
to live in a vegetative
state, dependent on
some machine and fluids
from a bottle. If that ever
happens, just pull the
plug."


She got up, unplugged the
TV, and threw out my wine


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May 12, 2008, last updated December 28, 2011

By Sam Garvino, Associate Editor and Featured Columnist

When I was little, I used to make wishes.  Sounds like the
kind of thing that can get you committed to a mental hospital
these days, right? But, in the innocence of childhood, before
the age of sarcasm and cynicism, I used to do it all the time.
Especially at night, right before I went to sleep.  And I never
really kept track of which wishes came true but I guess
enough of them did, because I kept right on wishing and
wishing. That is, until I grew up.


Then, wishes gave way to dreams. Dreams gave way to plans
--- "5-year plans", "10-year plans",  plans gave way to
"goals".  Dreams, plans and goals -- I guess they have their
place, but they still lack something when I compare them to
simple wishes. Why is that? I guess because wishes are
inspired by the sweet breath of innocence.

This year, I am going to start wishing again.  Dreams and
goals haven't done much for us anyway.

Top 10 Wishes for the New Year

1. I wish that everybody who reads this starts wishing.

2. I wish you health.

3. I wish that there were no hungry children anywhere in the
world. Kids didn't ask to be brought to this world. The least
we can do is feed them.

4. I wish politicians were all called "administrators"  or
"number one servant" instead of "leaders" or "presidents" or
anything glorious.  For all they really are administrators of
our common wealth and servants of the people. Or at least
that's what they're supposed to be. Maybe if we strip off all
the glorious titles, we'll start attracting the right kind of
people to the top jobs, those with humility and public service
in their hearts, instead of personal aggrandizement.


5. I wish I were 20 pounds thinner.


6. I wish I had the muscles now that I had when I was
younger.

7.  I wish people would say "thank you" twice as much as
they cursed or wished harm or ill-will towards someone else.
Sort of a two-for-one deal. Two good thoughts for one bad
one.

8.  I wish any politician who broke a promise after they were
elected had to give back all their salary to the people. That
would kind of increase the incentives for truth, you think?
For the politicians who were rich before they got elected, and
therefore who would have no incentive to give back a salary,
we could make them pay a lump sum, maybe 40% of their
net worth.


9. I wish people would take better care of themselves. This is
important not just for them but for me and everyone else.
For people who take care of themselves tend to like
themselves. And people who like themselves tend to be more
generous towards the world in general. They're easier to get
along with. They don't want to screw up the planet for
everybody else. They make better co-workers, lovers,
spouses, parents, fellow planet-dwellers.

10. You might have noticed that I only have 9 wishes so far.
My 10th wish is a blank one. I wish you would
send these 10
wishes to the people you love
, or just any person whom you
wish well, so they too will start wishing again, and get this
whole "wishing energy" started around the world. Who
knows? It might just work.


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