Why Men Leave --Ten More Signs He's
Going To Leave You
10 Signs He Is Going to Leave You
The Secret Key to All Successful Relationships
Old Triangles -What Happens When the Affair Is Over
Liar Liar-How to Tell When Someone is Lying
September 1, 2008Last Updated October 17, 2011
By Sarah Ott
In response to my previous column, I have received many
e-mails from women who want to know if there are any
other signs that he's going to leave you. They also want to
know signs to answer the classic question -- is he
cheating? Unfortunately, I can give you signs from
personal experience as well as the experiences of my many
Here then, for all the other women who don't see it
coming, are 10 More Signs That He's Going to Leave You.
1. Withdrawal. The clearest sign, according to marriage
studies, that a man is going to leave you is his withdrawal
from interaction. Withdrawal from all forms of interaction--
talking, sex, fighting. Most people think that constant
fighting is a sign he'll leave. But it's not.
If he's fighting, he's still in the battle. If he's eerily quiet,
even though you want him to fight, he's not in the battle.
Because the battle is over. And so is the war.
When he stops fighting, and gets real quiet, he's making his
2. Long-term Plans Suddenly Change. Say you and he have
always talked about one day, after the kids are raised,
taking a trip to the Grand Canyon. Or Tahiti. Or wherever.
And, then, one day, you mention Tahiti, and he doesn't
smile or join in. That's a sign. His mind may be on Tahiti.
But when he forms a mind picture of Tahiti--you're not in it.
3. Reproductive Decisions Change. Let's say, you want
children. Or say, you never want to have children. And you
and he have agreed on this. But then he for some reason
seems reluctant to talk about your joint decision of what
your family will look like. That's a major league bad sign. If
a man reverses himself on what you thought you and he
had agreed upon about children--watch out. See, Jennifer
Aniston didn't see it coming. Brad Pitt wanted children. She
wanted to wait. Brad Pitt got his children. But not with
4. Money. Everybody fights about money. No problem. The
bad sign occurs if you find out that he has hidden
something significant about his pile of money. Or if he is no
longer contributing the same amount to your household.
Disappearing money is going somewhere. Somewhere bad
5. An Affair of a Certain Type. Men have affairs sometimes.
Women have affairs sometimes. But no one will necessarily
leave the marriage unless it is a certain type of affair. That
type is an affair with a woman who also can make him a
home more comfortable than your home. Truth is, most
men love structure. They love the structure of a home. I
don't care how good she looks or how hot the sex is, if she
is living in a dump, she can't cook --- sorry, sexist but true
--- he's not leaving you for her. He may keep her on the
side but he's not leaving. Men like to slide into a nice,
comfortable structured food-and-roof situation. The only
exception is if they are both extremely wealthy.
6. Kids Are Growing Up. If he's been staying with you for
the sake of the kids ---and you know plenty of you have
these situations --then watch out when Little Johnny gets
ready to go to college. Because just as Little Johnny may
be starting his new life, Daddy may be starting his new life
7. The Ultimate Vacation. A woman I know told me her
husband asked her for a divorce. Not after a fight. But after
they had come back from what she thought was their
dream vacation with the best sex they had ever had. It
turns out, that many men who know they are going to
leave, plan one last big, hoorah. Sort of like a last supper
given to a condemned man on death row. What was that
song--Let's Just Kiss and Say Goodbye. They often have
Good-bye Sex --the best sex ever-- just before they exit
the door. Thank you, mam.
8. His Friends Treat You Differently. Ladies, most men,
contrary to popular belief, blab everything to their buddies.
It's 100% sure that his best buds will know your marriage
is over before you do. So, if they suddenly drop the social
courtesies, change the tone of voice, watch out.
9. Payroll Deductions. If you find on his pay stub any
change in deductions you have not discussed, that's a bad
sign. A man planning to leave you may change his
deductions, so he can increase his cash flow, in anticipation
of reduced family income or just to tie himself over in case
you out him out. He may also change the beneficiaries on
his insurance or his pension. Watch out.
10. His Mother. Some men start distancing you from their
mothers, in an effort to wean her off you before the Break.
He may break it off suddenly with you but chances are, he
will tell his mother something ahead of time, to soften the
blow. Less baggage, my dear.
Ten Reasons You Should Be Glad He's Gone
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